So this year I lost one of my very best friends. She was 34. It took all of 10 months for the cancer to get the best of her. It devastated me. I spent the entire time saying why her and why not me? I had been married and had children. Yet at the same time I didn't want to leave my children (does that not make you want to feel guilty or what?).
Today I found out that a young girl who played soccer with my son died in a tragic accident. She was 25. I can not even imagine her moms pain. I am so sorry.
Today I found out that several people that I knew also died. They ranged from 65 - 95. I still cried. When can you not cry for someone to not be part of life. They are a hole that can't ever be filled.
Death is sad and it brings so many tears. If I had my way, we would all live forever. However, when I read those stories posted on peoples lives after their death I am reminded that I could do so much more just to be half of the person they were.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Wow has it been that long
I can't believe that I have not posted since last December. This year has just flown by and so much has happened. I was remembering the other day how much I do love to write and how I make so little time for it. So just the other night I began my story once again. If I ever piece all my stories together my life just might make sense:). Why am I writing this you ask? I met someone today who brought up the subject of writing your life story down. He did not realize how he had just echoed what I had been doing only days earlier. It was uncanny.
But isn't life uncanny. Out of the blue you meet someone and you feel like you have known them forever...or you sit next to someone and suddenly you find yourself deep in conversation and having a wonderful evening with someone when you expected to be alone. Someone once asked me why I like to travel alone. I answered with sincerity...Because when one is alone you meet the most amazing people. People are not afraid to talk to you. Alone makes you a little bit more approachable. How many people do you know would go up to "a pair" and begin a conversation? In the world of "couples" and "family's" there is an upside to being alone.
But do you ever feel lonely? This of course is the next question. In sincerity...of course. Don't we all. We can feel lonely in a relationship...this is perhaps the worst of all... when you occupy the space with another, yet you don't see each other. I have experienced that. Perhaps that is why I prefer to be alone because I am afraid of being with another and yet we lose sight of the other. However, there are days and nights when I am alone, when I look longingly at the empty side of the bed or at the couple who are holding hands and I wish there was someone by my side.
But life is life. Single, alone, a couple, a family. We can plan and we can dream but our experiences make us who we are. I just want to experience life and yes of course there is the "good, bad, and the ugly". As John Lennon said "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans". I just want to not make quite so many plans.
But isn't life uncanny. Out of the blue you meet someone and you feel like you have known them forever...or you sit next to someone and suddenly you find yourself deep in conversation and having a wonderful evening with someone when you expected to be alone. Someone once asked me why I like to travel alone. I answered with sincerity...Because when one is alone you meet the most amazing people. People are not afraid to talk to you. Alone makes you a little bit more approachable. How many people do you know would go up to "a pair" and begin a conversation? In the world of "couples" and "family's" there is an upside to being alone.
But do you ever feel lonely? This of course is the next question. In sincerity...of course. Don't we all. We can feel lonely in a relationship...this is perhaps the worst of all... when you occupy the space with another, yet you don't see each other. I have experienced that. Perhaps that is why I prefer to be alone because I am afraid of being with another and yet we lose sight of the other. However, there are days and nights when I am alone, when I look longingly at the empty side of the bed or at the couple who are holding hands and I wish there was someone by my side.
But life is life. Single, alone, a couple, a family. We can plan and we can dream but our experiences make us who we are. I just want to experience life and yes of course there is the "good, bad, and the ugly". As John Lennon said "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans". I just want to not make quite so many plans.
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